I have sat here and thought about what to write. Twice now, I’ve written about our foster babies. The ones we had and said goodbye to. There’s a fear that settles on me when I do this. We say, “maybe the third time's the charm.” We choose hope instead of fear. 

Two weeks ago, a “little bird" flew into our homes. Her feathers were a bit ruffled but she found her soft landing place. Right in my arms! Then Toby’s and the girls' because we just can’t put this little Sparrow down! She is perfection personified. Let’s be real, she owns us. We are all wrapped around her little fingers and toes. When she is awake, we fight to be the one to hold her so she can see us. We all want our faces and smells to be the things that soothe and calm her. We can’t even think about letting this one go. We are hoping against hope that this one may be the one to stay and, as Toby says, “be our forever love.” 

We kinda feel like professionals at this now, though we are far from it. I don’t think you ever really become a professional, but you do find your groove. We are there. Sparrow keeps me up at night and entertained in her wakeful moments. It’s in those quiet hours that's just me and her where my heart fuses with hers. I think about the challenges her first few weeks of life have given her, but then I think about her future and it takes my breath away. The hopes and dreams I see for her: she will be brave and beautiful and a world changer. 

You might ask how we could keep losing our hearts over and over. The answer is simple--God just makes your heart bigger. I love each of these babies in their own special way. I love them fiercely and deeply. I find myself being forced to new places in this season. I’m being stretched and sometimes it feels like I might just break, but I never do. I just become more flexible and capable. Saying goodbye will never get easier, and it shouldn’t. It should always hurt, at least a little, because that means you’ve done your job and loved well. I hope that you can all take a moment and take stock of everything wonderful in your lives. We take too much for granted these days. We don’t say “thank you”, “I love you”, “you’re wonderful” or “have I told you lately how grateful I am for you,” near enough. Take some time and lavish your loved ones with your time and attention. 

UPDATE: I figure since you guys are on this journey with me, you would appreciate an update every so often. “Butterfly” and “Little Man” are doing splendidly. They are both thriving in their homes and are so loved. Looking back I can see how God worked it all just the way He wanted. It is a blessing to love these little ones and take care of them, and now other families are blessed by these kiddos. Trust me when I tell you, these kiddos have bright futures with their families. 

-Amber