697 days. That’s the length of time that our precious Malachi was in foster care. Forever. That’s the length of time we have to love him and know that he is ours.

We also hit our three mark for fostering the day after we adopted. So many emotions have run through me. I have cried, laughed, cried some more and my heart has been broken into a million pieces during these years. The temptation to give up has been heavy. We have seen 9 little loves come into our home and our hearts and 8 of them have left us. There is a space in our hearts that will always be there for them. We worry, we pray, we trust that God has them in His capable hands. We have a spot on our wall that has a picture of each of them. We talk about them daily. We will always talk about them, always wonder about them.

These past two years have not been easy. It was a freaking roller coaster. It was a growing experience for us all. Through all that, we have been unexplainably blessed with our forever son, Malachi Kingston White. He will always be our Little Lion Man, but it FEELS SO GOOD TO SAY HIS NAME!!!!

It is with so much joy and gratefulness that we are finally able to share him with The Space We Share community. He is my sidekick, my buddy, always with me. He gives the best hugs and kisses. He is the first smile I see every morning. We have breakfast together while the rest of the house is still waking up. His excitement and laughter are contagious. He will be a wave maker, mountain mover, change creator. He has the brightest future ahead of him, and we will be there to walk it out with him, support him, love him and celebrate him.

I’m about to state something very obvious, but I believe it is important.

We are a white family raising a black son.

I will be the first to say, we have MUCH to learn. We have spent countless hours reading, watching and investing in hard conversations so we can attempt to get things right from the beginning. I know he is young right now and doesn’t get it, but Toby and I along with our two teenage daughters have so much to learn so when he does get old enough, we are prepared. We have a wonderful community around us. We also have mentors to help us and him through all the tough conversations that will happen, and to help us get a different perspective. Malachi will know who he is, he will know his history and he will never have to wonder.

I have joined one group that I wanted to highlight because it has been really paramount in my learning journey. Be The Bridge is a non-profit organization. Their intent is to “equip one another to become interracial bridge builders, or ambassadors of racial reconciliation, within our respective communities. The ultimate desire is for the church to become credible witnesses to true biblical oneness.” This organization is leading the way for churches to be the leaders in recognition and healing. They have a superabundance of resources and a group for transracial adoption.

We NEED a village to make this work. We NEED people who are different than us to help us learn and be the best we can be. One of the videos that they asked us to watch was a TED talk with finance executive Mellody Hobson. She said something that hit me right in the heart. She said, “Be color Brave, not color blind.” We can’t ignore the fact that we have different skin colors any more than we can ignore the fact that we have different heights, builds, color eyes and hair. These are genetics. None of us get to choose any of these traits. These are things to be celebrated and loved, not ignored! I want Malachi to know that I see his color, that I LOVE his color and I celebrate his color. Yes, we are different, and yes, we will have some areas to work through as my experiences may look different than his, but we will do it with him.

My encouragement is this: don’t turn a blind eye, sew your lips shut or have a weak trigger finger when it comes to standing with your brothers and sisters of the black community, or any community that has been broken and wounded. Keep your eyes wide open, scream it from the rooftops and be quick to call out the injustices. We may not find solutions over night, but we will find them.

I would also like to give a special thanks to all the people who have walked with us, let me cry in your arms, cried with me, let me scream and come undone and encourage, love and pray from us. I don’t know if our fostering journey is over, but we are definitely taking some time to just be a family. We value and cherish all your prayers and support.

This is from a post I made almost 3 years ago, it applies now more than ever.

“Do the things that leave you empty at the end of your life, completely poured out, spent, taking nothing from this life into the next. Live in such a way that as you breath your last, you have a plethora of people around you who are filled with all the things that are true, noble, right, pure and lovely, admirable and praiseworthy from your life. That is the true legacy.”

I want to open up our comments sections on our site and Facebook and Instagram for anyone who has any questions about our journey. Fostering is such a blessing; adopting is the gift after all the hard work.

♥Amber

From Foster To Forever