Allowing Myself to Hope
I have been struggling to find the balance of life these days. One of my main goals this year was to allow myself to hope, to dream a little bigger, not be afraid to expect the impossible. Like Alyssa and Jana, I pray for my word for the year. It took me longer than I thought, but I finally landed on HOPE. It seemed to be in short supply last year, and I even started to get fearful of hoping. What a sad existence! Without hope what do we have? We just settle into mundane days and fretful nights. I did that for the better part of last year. Losing Sparrow took a bigger toll than I allowed myself to believe. This is part of the process after-all. The possibility of losing the babies we love so dearly is great. So I just sat down and let it be.
Life can be like that. We just stop. We stop fighting, we stop trying, we just stop in the middle of trouble and just sit. It reminds me of the movie, The Neverending Story, when Atreyu is trying to pull Artax from the Swamp of Sadness. It just sucks you right on down.
This is why we need our tribe. This is why we need our people to carry us THROUGH the despair, THROUGH the doubt, THROUGH the fear, THROUGH the darkness. Whatever took you captive last year, let it be your purpose this year to take captive of it and walk THROUGH whatever it is. There is healing in the tears, in the screaming and in the laying prostrate before our Maker. But we can’t just stop there. We have to learn how to pick ourselves up, or let our people pick us up and carry us THROUGH even if it’s kicking and screaming.
This year I’m going to let the hope and peace of God wash over me and dare to dream a little bigger and expect the impossible. I’m going to try on my positive pants for a while. Negativity has a way of just flat out wearing you down, and taking a toll on those around you.
I don’t know what you have going on in your life right now, but I encourage you to just take a little step forward, even just lift your weary head and look up to healer, the provider, the giver of all gifts good and perfect.
If you stand for anything, stand for love.
Foster Update:
Bumble Bee is now with her brother and new foster parents. She is doing really well and is growing like a weed. We miss her sweet presence, but she is happy and thriving!
Little Lion Man is so big now. He is 15 months old and brings so much laughter and joy into our home.
As always: if you have ever thought about fostering to adopt, reach out to me. Or call Hope Cottage and get to an orientation. The need is great and the reward is greater.
Statistics: The need in Texas is staggering as 30,000+ kids are in need of foster or adoptive homes. These kids need a loving and safe place to call home for a season or forever. I know I complain a lot about how hard it is, BUT it’s not meant to be easy. Parenting isn’t easy, loving kids and losing them isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. One day as I look back at my wall, with all the photos of the kiddos I’ve had the pleasure of loving, I will NOT for one-second regret it. If you stand for anything, stand for love, with open arms, open hearts and open homes.
♥Amber