We’re slowly working on creating new traditions in our household. We are now a family of four, filling out this little tribe in ways that add a layer of responsibility on my part to make our home a safe and happy space. This year for New Years Day, Matt made homemade cinnamon rolls in a cast iron skillet and we worshiped in the new decade. The night before, we huddled around my parents’ coffee table and took turns sharing our Kodak moments of 2019 and our individual word to guide us into 2020. Lots of beautiful words were offered up: Present, Fight, Choices, Focus, Listen…all areas I could stand to take a lesson in. But a word had already found me and attached itself, one I couldn’t shake.

I have a lot of ideas. I want to do and see a lot of things. Things like family trips and meal planning and more time outside. I want to publish books and run races and sit on terraces in Tuscany. I want to be fully alert to this life, sucking it dry, leaving nothing left. But in the process of all the “yeses” and checked boxes and travel itineraries, I need a groundedness to ensure I am not just on a merry go-round but on a well intentioned path that leads to a promising destination.

I can’t be all things to all people, but what are the things that only I can do?

So — to these desires that spring up like flowers all around me, before the temptation to reach down and pick one up consumes me, I ask myself, “but is it beneficial?”

What kind of fruit does it bear? By saying yes to this thing, what other thing am I forced to say no to? How much time will this require? And is that time spent away from my kids and husband? I’ve forced myself to take a good look at my life —at the choices I’ve made collectively to make it what it is today— and I’m finding the areas that need pruning. I cannot be all things to all people, but what are the things that only I can do?

Here’s what I have concluded: only I can grow my relationship with Christ (no one else can do that for me). Only I can be Matt’s wife and my boys’ mom. Only I can take care of my body and spirit, nourishing it with kindness and nutrients and time. And only I can put pen to paper the words and convictions that tug on my soul and stir in my mind. Only I can hit publish and share them with you here.

So that’s where I will begin. I will start with the things that only I can do and go from there. I will hold each dream delicately against the unwavering question of “but is it beneficial?” I will work to build a life that builds up and lends truth because otherwise, what is the point? And I hope you will join me. If we can begin by loving well ourselves and the people inside our homes, I dare say the world would naturally be a much better place.

♥Alyssa

But Is It Beneficial?

I can’t be all things to all people, but what are the things that only I can do?