I may not be hitting post as frequently, but I am writing more than I ever have. The truth is, for the last three years I have been working on a personal project.
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The moments I’ve been collecting lately lack all the luster and idyllic qualities I used to think were needed for holding onto something.
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Lately I’m realizing that it does little good to try to separate the light from the heavy. They often take turns swooshing through our home like a Texas wind storm, keeping me on my toes. Just when I think I can settle into that warm spot beneath the sun, those looming clouds roll in fierce and without warning.
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Ever notice how life is a steady stream of good news/bad news? I thought about this yesterday around 5pm as a string of texts came through.
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One Valentines Day seven years ago, I laid in bed trembling uncontrollably.
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I want to build a world for my kids that is far less scary than the version the news likes to tell us.
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You know how it is in sporting events when things start to ramp up and the coach calls for a timeout? Maybe the players are on the verge of exhaustion or fights are breaking out or their strategy just isn’t working and everyone needs a minute. I feel like we could all use a timeout right about now.
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Underneath it all - on some level - I think we’re all asking what is happening? Will things ever be normal again?
What if the answer to that is no? And what if that’s a good thing?
6:30 p.m... the phone rings. It’s Jarod. “Mom? Hey, so we’re both ok, everyone’s fine… but we were in a wreck…”
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This is a hard thing to admit, but I’ve been kind of a hot mess lately.
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When I was a little girl, I had this (completely rational) fear of gingivitis. I know, it’s super embarrassing to admit, but I literally couldn’t eat a piece of candy without having to mentally overcome this battle of getting “the most common gum disease.”
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Ever notice how fear and worry can creep into your thoughts and ruin a perfectly good day? Not long ago I was having one of those days.
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